Workbook Lesson 338: I am affected only by my thoughts

We find ourselves surrounded by so many external events that keep us in a constant state of fear. and uncertainty. For the past two and a half years it has been the pandemic. But there is always something: raging bushfires, floods, health issues, family members seeming to attack us. There is the political turmoil in various parts of the world and inhumane actions happening far too frequently. There is all the suffering being experienced by people in so many countries, whether due to war, civil unrest or grinding poverty. Often the poverty is quite likely to be the result of despotic leaders who are feathering their nest eggs while their populations starve. Thinking on these things can be overwhelming and make us feel useless and ineffective. It can cause varying degrees of fear, whether it is fear for our personal safety and financial stability or fear for the world and what it is coming today.

This lesson is a reminder that we are fearful because of how we perceive any event or situation. When I perceive an attack from someone, it is really me attacking myself with how I think about and interpret the situation. If someone acts in a certain way and I feel hurt, angry, resentful and unhappy, it is not because of what that person did but because of what I tell myself. I can convince myself that an injury has been done to me, I have been attacked and so I have every right to feel hurt, anguished, angry, and to attack in return or at the very least expect an apology. Robert Perry likens it to a strange boxing match where you feel yourself repeatedly being pummeled by your opponent. However when you see the replay of the match you see that you are heavily protected by a plastic bubble and it is you yourself who is doing the hitting – hitting yourself. I like this graphic image of the hurt we inflict on ourselves with our thoughts.

So how do we apply this lesson and this particular theme, which comes up repeatedly in the Course? Today I have been vigilant about my thoughts and even the tiniest feeling of resentment or defensiveness. If I feel angry about something my husband said, it is not what he said that causes this, but rather how I interpret what he said, what meaning I give it, how my ego rises to defend itself. Often we choose to read into say a communication from someone, something that just isn’t there.

For example, I once sent a text message to a friend inviting them to drop in and have a drink and a bite to eat with us. She responded that they were at a late lunch and could not come, and finished with ‘Have fun’. This seems like such a trivial thing. She said have fun and probably meant it, but for some reason these two words are a trigger for me. I find them condescending. If I ask someone to come over and they can’t come, I believe all they need to say is they cannot come. The ‘have fun’ remark gets my goat. So here was a good opportunity for me to practise today’s lesson. First, I acknowledged that the two words bothered me and quite excessively, considering they appear to be harmless. I can’t see why someone needs to tell me to have fun, it doesn’t make sense to me. I am still unpacking why this bothers me, why I find it condescending. But what I did do was to acknowledge my response and that my anger was not caused by the words but by my thoughts which interpreted the words as condescending and unnecessary. I used the response to temptation: This thought I do not want, I choose instead: I am affected only by my thoughts. I felt immediate relief. It gave me an opportunity to not only practice the lesson, but to hone my skills at recognising my response quickly and taking measures straightaway, using a Course practice.

This lesson will definitely be added to my toolkit and I will be using it often.