Why would I want to document our move? Isn’t it something a large percentage of the population does with regularity? What would be special or different about my preparation to move, not just move homes but move states? I keep hearing a persistent little voice at the back of my head suggesting I do so. Then my ego immediately tells me there is no point because the decision to move was made in March and it is now November, so how am I going to document what’s been happening in the intervening months? What if I don’t remember everything? My obsessive personality wants to make sure I don’t forget to write this or that, but I decided to start right here, and not try to backtrack as my ego tells me I must, to just write some thoughts about the whole process. It dawned on me that I could ditch my all-or-nothing thinking and write about the different phases of the move.
This story’s preamble relates to how I approach life as a student of A Course in Miracles (the Course). In the past few years, I have become increasingly trusting of this guidance and equally importantly, I am remembering to ask and not blunder and act when I haven’t been guided, as I have been inclined to do in the past and still do, often but less frequently. I wanted to document the move not just in terms of what we did and how we did it, but also from the unique perspective of a Course student’s approach to a significant life event.
An example of how I felt I was connected to a higher power and my request for we consulted a new financial advisor who showed us how, if we took specific steps, we could retire fairly soon. A few months later, my husband and I were both out of work! I consider that to be a miracle. My faith in guidance was reinforced and I prayed even more for another request I had made, to guide me about where I should live. I put no parameters around this guidance and told Jesus that he knew what my needs were and I trusted he would come up with the best solution for all concerned.
Back to the move. A trip to the Gold Coast in Queensland earlier this year triggered the decision. We visited friends who had moved earlier in the year, also from Melbourne, and the intention was to have a little holiday. For several years we had tussled with the question of how the next phase of our lives would play out: do we downsize, move to the country (regional Victoria), move interstate, perhaps to the central or northern coast of New South Wales? We were still nowhere closer to deciding, but as described earlier, I continued to seek guidance. We travelled to different parts of Victoria and New South Wales, but nothing grabbed us. Then the Gold Coast happened. We really liked it, there was a vibe, a feel to the place that we both felt drawn to, without being able to give it a name. We started talking about a possible move. Very tentative at first, then with growing enthusiasm. Back in Melbourne we talked some more and decided to go back for another look.
During the first phase of our earliest discussions about a possible move, I talked to my Course teacher Janet during our weekly phone conversations, and she pointed out that this is a real opportunity for communication between my husband and me. She said, “Maybe it’s about the move, but also about the opportunity to get on well together. How can healing come out of this? How can we do this in the most loving way possible?” I concurred. I was also reminded that in previous conversations with Janet about my writing, when I expressed reservations about how it would be received, Janet pointed out that my focus could be on how I could help others, rather than how readers perceived my writing.
Our second trip to the Gold Coast made us even more convinced that this might be for us. Jerome’s asthma improved within a few days of being away from Melbourne. Each year as the Melbourne winter dragged on for six months, the cold weather still around during summer, I would bring up the subject of ‘moving north’. I realise now that I have been ‘over’ the cold for a long time. I have been known to say, repeatedly, that I don’t mind the winter but I do mind the cold dragging on through spring and even summer. For years I managed to convince myself that if so many others put up with the cold, so should I, without complaint. Now I know that it is not necessary to put up with anything because other people are willing to do so.
We talked some more and looked at a possible move from every angle we could think of. We spoke to our daughters, who both encouraged us to do what was best for us. When we felt we had thoroughly explored every reason for and against it, we finally took the plunge and put our home of 22 years on the market. Initially, we considered buying a property first and then selling our home. I felt we should sell first and this was the advice of our Financial Advisor, but Jerome was not convinced. However, the logistics of trying to buy a property in another state, which meant making trips up and down to view properties, proved too daunting. Also, the Reserve Bank was set to increase interest rates, so the decision to sell first seemed to be the right one. While I believed from the start that selling first was the most practical move, I did not disagree with Jerome or try to talk him out of buying first. I had placed the whole process in the hands of Jesus and the Holy Spirit and I felt we would be guided each step of the way, to make the right decision for us. After making his inquiries and adding up the various implications, Jerome decided it would be best to sell first.
We cleared, cleaned, and readied the place for the photographer and then the first open house. Seven couples or families came to the first open and we were hopeful. One couple made an offer that we refused and they increased it. We decided to wait. The Reserve Bank raised the interest rates for the first time in many months, and no one came to the second inspection. I found myself becoming anxious, wondering what if we don’t accept the first (and only) offer and end up selling for less. I looked at how I was feeling and used the practice I place the future in the hands of God. I broke this down into the meaning of each segment: what does placing my future mean? In reality, time doesn’t exist but in this world, there is a past and future and placing my future in God’s hands means not the distant future, but even the next minute or the next five minutes. Placing something in someone’s hands is about trusting them completely and feeling reassured they will have your back. One morning when I was feeling anxious I talked to the Holy Spirit about what I was experiencing and asked Him to show me how I could see this differently. Within minutes I felt better and not anxious at all. I felt that I could leave things oneGod’s hands.
After further conversations with our real estate agent, and when the potential buyers came close to what we thought was reasonable we accepted the offer, and the house was sold.
NOTE: Text in italics refers directly to the impact of the Course or use of Course practices.